I am finding motherhood at 16 months postpartum harder than I ever did in the newborn phase, and it has nothing to do with the baby!
Yes you heard that correctly, and maybe I am in the minority with feeling like this, but I am finding motherhood at 16 months postpartum harder than I did when I had a newborn.
When I was in the newborn stage – I completely surrendered to motherhood, made sure I had lots of support in place and didn’t overload my schedule with too many commitments. I was also very, very fortunate and privileged to be able to have been able to take a whole year of maternity leave – which I know is not at all possible for everyone (and depending where you are located in world maybe no maternity leave at all). So although I was sleep deprived and riding the hormonal wave that is the fourth trimester, I wasn’t as overwhelmed and overstimulated as I am in this phase of my motherhood journey.
Now in the depths of being back at work, starting a new business and juggling the mental load of motherhood I am finding it a lot harder than I thought I would at this point in postpartum. The mum guilt seems to increase as the little human starts to express their emotions, starts to communicate with words and lets you know that they want mum in that moment, and they demand your time and energy in ways that are completely different than when they are a newborn!
Juggling the demands of motherhood and work is an ever evolving journey, particularly in 2023 where it is becoming increasingly difficult to shut off from work at home. But there are strategies that can help to support the process.
Here are some that have helped me deal with the motherhood juggle in postpartum so far, and things I will continue to use in the future:
- Create a routine: Establishing a routine around to make sure you get exercise in, and know what the week of work, family time and self care looks like. Write it down and block off time for things that are important to you.
- Prioritise self-care: Taking care of yourself is crucial during your shift into motherhood. If mum’s mental health is being prioritised, the whole family benefits. This includes getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, and finding time for exercise and relaxation. Prioritising self-care can help reduce stress, increase energy levels, and improve overall well-being.
- Delegate tasks: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s asking a partner to take on some of the household tasks or having serious discussions about what your household split of duties and responsibilities look like week to week. For instance in our household – while I am juggling more work and business commitments, my partner is responsible for more of the household duties such as cooking and cleaning.
- Set boundaries: Setting boundaries between work and home life is important. Try to avoid checking emails or taking work calls during designated family time, and establish clear boundaries about when you are available. My biggest goal for the weeks ahead is to be fully present when I am with my family, turn of my phone and enjoy the play time with my toddler so that I don’t have more mum guilt when I have to return to working later that day.
- Be kind to yourself: Remember that being a mother is a challenging job, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed or stressed at times. Be kind to yourself, practice self-compassion, and remind yourself that it’s okay to ask for help. It’s also more than okay to seek out professional support from a therapist or counsellor, and may be beneficial to chat further about your unique situation. I know it has benefitted me greatly in the past.
Remember, being a mum is a tough job and it is completely normal to feel overwhelmed at times.
So, be gentle with yourself and don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it. With a little bit of planning and a lot of self-compassion, you can juggle motherhood and work like a boss!
If you related to this at all, I would love to hear about your experience, send me a message over on instagram @thenourishedbump
Speak soon my friend
Madison xx
